I SHAKE MY HEAD

Is it even possible to become a cozy, matching-pajama-set “pot pie” woman if you hate peas... or do you just need to give up and embrace your tattered pajama empire? Why do chicken pot pies act like they’re pies when really, under that crust, it’s just a veggie ambush? Who decided it was okay for a sub to cost $19? Are we paying rent on that bread or what? And at what point during your Firehouse Subs experience do you realize the bun is doing all the heavy lifting? If you died in your worst und

Why do married people suddenly feel the need to want the same thing for supper every night? Is supper really just a nightly team-building exercise, or has it become a make-work project no one signed up for? Can someone help me understand why using ChatGPT for a comedy show poster makes you the villain of Facebook, while using Canva is practically a charitable act? How is adding words to our own badly-lit selfie suddenly a threat to civilization! Why does everyone suddenly think they’re a protei

Does whipped cream really have a season, or can it be enjoyed all year round? Is there a right way or a wrong way to do “girl lunch” and "girl dinner,” or are we just making up food rules for fun? Do leftovers have a 24-hour expiry, or are we living on the edge by keeping turkey for day two or is it time we admit we just toss them after pretending to care? Why does opening garbage bags have to be so hard, and will the struggle ever end? If you can’t decide which is worse, a trapeze artist with

Is the fridge light the greatest mystery of modern times or just a conspiracy waiting to be cracked? Is it blind faith to trust the cold glow disappears or do we need hidden camera evidence and a magnifying glass à la Sherlock Holmes? Does your trust in “the lady” in your GPS run so deep you’d make a U-turn on a six-lane Toronto street because she told you to? Is Brad Pitt missing the point of porn, or is he just officially an old man? Is the World Robot Games fascinating or kind of terrifying

Why do some people power-walk like they're in a marathon, while others prefer a leisurely, scenic saunter? Is life meant to be experienced at top speed, or should we take time to enjoy our surroundings especially if your walking partner’s 10 feet ahead and not looking back? Should junk food like Oreos ever be zero sugar, or is that just a cruel twist of fate for snack lovers? Do hotel breakfast buffets ever get it right, or does mystery ketchup in a communal bowl signal it’s time to order off t

Why is it always the middle seat people who become armrest renegades do the rules of air travel mean nothing anymore? Has your bond with ChatGPT reached slightly scary heights, and did you just admit it’s a better friend than most humans? And does anyone else wonder if you’ll wake up one day to your friend introducing their virtual pal as the next big thing in the friend group chat? Since when did trying every ice cream sample become an Olympic sport like are you competing for gold in Tiger Tige

Is fudging your step count in your head a sign of creative genius or simply self-delusion at its finest? Can solo car concerts uncover your hidden inner rockstar, or are you simply harmonizing (badly) with Tommy Tutone and the Lord as your only audience? Is there such a thing as a “perfect note” or are we still chasing that mythical high from one fluke karaoke moment? Why are people wearing neck pillows through the airport like it’s a fashion statement? And would you ever ride a suitcase that fo

Is hauling around a giant water bottle now society’s loudest status symbol? Have you ever considered carrying one empty just to fit in, only to worry people would notice you’re faking your hydration? Could you pass the “don’t eat anything served through a window” diet, or do you secretly love “window food” just as it is? What’s your stance on messy lawns and the metaphorical bush do you “trim” for society or dance to the beat of your own weed-whacker? Is the exhaustion real after coming back fr